Chapter 0098
** Deacon, AKA, Mr Collins POV **
I never wanted her in the house, not yet. Not until she was truly mine and she was ready to move in but what else could I do? She was cold and tired, and we had at least another 40 minutes before I could return them all to the academy. There was no way I could leave her outside for that long. When the security team had finally arrived and taken the two would–be kidnappers off of our hands we had come inside to find everyone sleeping. I was going to wake them but Axel and Mason had informed me that they’d not seen her sleep that well since she had woken from the coma. I couldn’t wake her after I heard that, and I told them to get some rest and I’d return them to the academy in the morning. It’s as if her body knows this is her home, this is where she belongs, or maybe it’s because I’m so close. I know she’s been scent hoarding, collecting her bonds clothing and making a bed with it. She’d had my jacket in it, her wolf knowing I was hers, even if she hadn’t. I had hated taking it from her but I couldn’t risk her working it all out again. I promised Mason Axel and Luke that if she figured it out again I wouldn’t compel her this time. They were struggling to watch her so confused about me, but they knew why I was doing it. I should have compelled them all but then they wouldn’t trust me like they do, they wouldn’t let me near her, and I need to be near her. I’d been weak today, but she had been so upset, she thought she was going insane like her mother because she couldn’t explain her attraction to me and her need to challenge any female who showed me interest. Seeing her like that had broken me and I’d been down on my knees, ready to confess all and beg for her forgiveness. Instead, I’d asked to taste her and she had let me. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. She had been everything I’d dreamed of and more and I already crave to taste her again. There’s no way I can keep up this rouse for 3 years. I’ll be amazed at myself if I can keep it up for 3 months at this rate.
I can’t settle knowing she is here. She’s so close but I can’t touch her. I can’t go in there and steal her away for myself, no matter how tempting it may be. I dip into her dream, maybe I can spend some time with her there where it’s safe to touch her. She’s baking with her mum, her pink apron is covered in flour as she claps her chubby little toddler hands excitedly, I drop back out before she notices me there. She has that dream often and I always leave before she can see me. I won’t disturb her happy childhood memories. I throw back my covers, giving up on sleep. Shoving on my swim shorts and grabbing a towel I head down to the pool. I intend to swim until I’m too exhausted to think, then maybe I’ll manage a few hours
I swim lap after lap, but I can’t shift her from my mind. I replay her dance in my head. The way she had moved so gracefully. Her movements told a story, each action was filled with emotion and it almost moved me to tears to watch. She is the most beautiful creature to ever walk the realms and I can’t say I wasn’t ready to rip Coner’s head clean from his neck when he’d joined her. It’s going to be so hard to be professional around him when I know that he’s had her in a way I haven’t. He’s been with her intimately, and he had no right to be with her in that way, she’s mine! And what’s worse is that she honoured him with her time and he repaid her by hurting her! I stop swimming and grip the edge of the pool sucking in ragged breaths as anxiety grips me. I hate feeling out of control and right now I’ve never felt closer to completely losing it.
