Love Novel 84

My heart hammers in my chest as I hear the click of the doorknob. It only takes a second before Zaid’s door swings open.
I can feel my breath hitch in my throat and he just stands there, staring at me like I’m a ghost. His dark eyes flick over me,
from my face to my toes.
It’s slow, deliberate, hot. His jaw tightens, and I lick my lips as it draws my attention.
“Can I…” I hesitate, my voice quieter than I intended. “Can I spend the night with you?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, and I press my lips together, wrapping my arms around myself, suddenly unsure. Should
I just walk away?
His frown is slight, but it’s there, barely noticeable if I weren’t so attuned to him. He watches me for a long second, those
dark eyes melting my insides. Then he exhales through his nose and steps aside, pushing the door open wider.
I walk in, feeling the heat of his presence behind me as the door clicks shut. The silence settles around us is almost too much to bear. He walks around me, toward his bed, where he begins to pick up the books he has scattered across it.
I take in his appearance. His damp hair, the way his grey sweatpants sit low on his hips, the faint sheen of water still
clinging to his skin. My gaze drifts lower, tracing the jagged scars that stretch from his abdomen to his back and over his
shoulder blades.
I swallow hard and finally break the silence. “You’re upset.”
Zaid shrugs, shaking his head.
“You are.”
“Why would I be upset?” His voice is flat, carefully neutral.
I hesitate before whispering, “I’m sorry I pulled away from you.”
He stiffens, keeping his gaze locked onto the floor.
My fingers tighten around the fabric of my shirt. “I just… I’m not sure I want your father to know.”
He snaps his gaze to me and something flickers in his eyes. He huffs out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Why?” he asks,
his tone edged in frustration.
I part my lips, but how am I supposed to answer that? I don’t want Jake to know because he has been begging me to let
him in, too.
“Am I not good enough for you?” His jaw tightens as he watches me.
I blink at him. “What?”
“Are you afraid of tarnishing your reputation by being with the bad brother?”
I inhale sharply. “No, Zaid. That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” His voice is quiet, but there’s an intensity in it, a weight.
There’s a sea of uncertainty and insecurity in his eyes and my chest aches. I want to take it away; I want to reassure him
that I don’t feel like that at all. The pain in his eyes steals my breath and I find no words.
“Because from where I’m standing, it feels like you’re willing to keep me hidden while you get to have Aiden out in the
open.”
I shake my head, feeling my chest tighten. “No, Zaid. No. It’s just that -I don’t know how to navigate this.”
His chest is heaving, his nostrils flaring, but he says nothing.
“I’ve never been in a relationship like this before, with two people. And I don’t know how to handle the judging. I don’t
know if I can.”
His eyes darken. “And what? You think keeping me a secret is the solution?”
“I just need time.”
He frowns. “I can understand you needing time to be with the both of us out in public. But this is my father.”
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I stare at him. This is so much more complicated than he thinks. Part of me just wants to spill everything.
Zaid exhales roughly, running a hand through his damp hair before looking at me again. “You think my father has a say in
who I’m with? In who you or Aiden are with?”
I shake my head.
His voice is quieter now, but no less intense. “One day, you’re going to have to tell him. Tell everyone.”
Oh my god, he’s right. Jake will have to know eventually, and Aiden and Zaid will have to know eventually, too. This is all
going to blow up in my face.
I think Zaid can see the fear in my eyes because he flinches. “Do you plan to have me hidden? Only be with me in secret while you walk around with Aiden?”
His words cut deep because I don’t want that. I want him.
I want Aiden.
I want Jake.
This is all too much.
Tears fill my eyes, and that has him moving.
“Shit, love,” he cups my face, rubbing his thumbs on my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
My lips tremble. “I don’t- I don’t want to hide you.”
His jaw clenches, eyes scanning my face.
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“But do you think people won’t talk? That they won’t treat us differently? This isn’t exactly a normal relationship.” The words come out of me and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from adding the fact that Jake would be another added
taboo.
He leans in close, his lips brushing mine. “We can’t stop them, my love. We can only choose what we do. Either you will
have to choose one of us, or you will have to face the judgement of being with both of us.”
I don’t want to choose, but I don’t get the chance to tell him that because he kisses me. His lips move around in slow,
comforting kisses.
My skin lights up, but then the soreness from my ass and my pussy suddenly comes to life. I pull away, breathing heavily
against this chest.
His thumbs rub the skin behind my ears, soft and tender, careful and absolutely exquisite. “Can we- can we just sleep
tonight?”
His body tenses, and a low rumble sounds in his chest. Still, he nods and pulls me toward the bed. In silence, we settle in
and as soon as he turns off the lamp at his bedside, he reaches for me.
His arms wrap around me and he preses my chest to his, placing my leg around his waist. The warmth from his body
seeps into me, and I relax enough to have my eyes closing on their own.
Zaid’s fingers draw circles on my back, drawing goosebumps from my skin.
We lay there like that for a few minutes before I break the silence. “What did you mean when you said that I’ll
understand?”
Zaid stiffens, his breath catching in his throat. “What?”
I shift, looking up at him. “That night…when you said I had to say the words for you to… for you to have sex with me?”
His eyes are burning into me, hungry tension bringing them to life.
“You said that I would understand. What does that mean?”
He swallows so thickly that I can hear it. His brow is in a frown and he shakes his head softly. “I’ll tell you when you
understand.”
I roll my eyes, but I don’t push any further. I bury myself in his chest and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat