Love Novel 66

I push at his chest and he relents, pulling away and letting me sit with my back tot he headboard.
He’s watching me carefully, as if trying to gauge my reaction to his words, to his suggestion. With my hand shaking, I
reach for the mug of tea he had brought and sit cross-legged.
The tea warms my hands, and the room is quiet, except for the occasional sound of him shifting on the bed.
I take a sip, slow and careful. It burns my tongue a little, but then it soothes my throat, the sweetness of the honey
making me close my eyes in comfort.
My nerves shoot in my stomach and I force myself to look him in the eyes. “Can you tell me what you meant, Jake?”
He flinches like he’s terrified of the idea.
I reach for his hand and squeeze. “Please.”
He presses his lips together and looks away, jaw tightening as if he’s trying to gather his thoughts. The furrow in his brow makes me want to reach out and smooth it away, like I did with Zaid.
I want none of them to feel so troubled, none of them to struggle with me.
In the quiet, I take him in. The faint stubble on his jaw shadows his face just enough to make him look rugged. The lines
at the corners of his eyes, put there by years of laughter and smiles, make me happy that so far he has had a life welllived despite its hardships.
He’s so heartbreakingly handsome, and it makes me understand just why Aiden and Zaid can capture me the way they
do.
Finally, he breaks the silence. “I’ve been thinking about it, Alina.”
I swallow hard. “Thinking about what, exactly?”
He shifts his gaze back to me, his brown eyes warm. “You.”
I take a sip to busy my trembling hands, though I’m sure he notices the way my entire body shivers and warms. “Me?”
He nods, eyes dropping to my lips. “You. Me. What I want.”
The air thickens between us, my breath hitching. “What-what do you want?”
“I want you, Alina,” he says, each word deliberate, like they’re fragile enough to break.
I have to swallow the tea in my mouth before I make myself spit it out from the delicious wave of warmth that passes
through me at hearing those words.
“Can you honestly tell me that you don’t want me?”
My eyes drop to the covers because it’s so much more complicated than that. It’s so much more than yes or no.
“Baby?”
Exasperated, I look at him. “Yes, but it’s so much more than that.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
I shake my head.
“If you want to be with Aiden, then I won’t stand in your way. I won’t try to tear you two apart.” He pauses, his eyes
darkening.
“I don’t understand,” I frown.
“As long as I get some of you. As long as I get to love you, even if it’s just pieces of you, then you can do whatever you want.”
His words crash into me, stealing the air from my lungs. My mind flashes to Aiden’s face earlier tonight. The anger, the
betrayal when he saw Zaid and me. A fresh wave of guilt rises, and I grip my mug tighter. “That’s impossible.”
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Jake’s gaze sharpens. “Why?”
“Aiden wouldn’t, he wouldn’t be open to that,” I say, the thought of Aiden’s reaction making my chest tighten.
His eyes widen just a bit, and he scoots in closer. “But you would be?”
I realize the whole I’ve buried myself in, but honestly? Getting to be with them both would solve all my issues. “Maybe,
but it would depend on how it works out.”
Jake shrugs, his voice quiet but firm. “Well, we could do it anyway. Try it.”
My eyes widen. “What? No. I can’t lie to him. I can’t sneak around.”
He nods, like he feels guilty for even suggesting it.
“That’s cheating, Jake.”
His eyes lift to mine. “Like we aren’t guilty of that already.”
I ignore the pang in my chest. Technically, he’s right, but it doesn’t feel like that in my heart.
Jake’s gaze drops to my lips, and the heat there makes my skin prickle. I place my mug on the bedside table and move to
stand, needing distance, needing clarity.
But his hand grips my thigh, holding me in place. “Please. Stay.”
“Jake…” I start, but he cuts me off, his words tumbling out.
“I just want to sleep. I just want you near. I’ve missed you, Alina. So much.”
The vulnerability in his voice tugs at something deep inside me, and I hesitate. My heart aches, torn between the lines I
shouldn’t cross and the man who’s always felt like home.
The hurt and fear of rejection in his eyes reminds me of when he comforted me when we first met. How our chemistry
was undeniable even then. I reach for him and place my hand on his cheek and nod. “Okay, but we’re just sleeping.”
His eye twitches like he was hoping I wouldn’t agree to that, but he nods. I sit back and finish my tea as he takes a
shower and gets ready for bed.
A half an hour later, we’re tucked into bed, facing each other with his arm around my waist. I’m chewing on the inside of
my cheek, and Jake smirks. “Just say what you want to say.”
I breathe in to gather my courage. “How does my mother fit into all of this?”
He frowns and blinks a few times. “She doesn’t.”
I lift an eyebrow. “She’s your wife.”
“On paper only. I have no feelings for her. I think she only married me for my money and half of me thinks she will never
even come back as long as I keep sending it to her.”
I wince. “That’s terrible.”
He shrugs. “I have enough of it, and I would give it all up to have you.”
I blush profusely and slap his chest. “You really only married her to get me under your roof?”
He smiles at me, kissing my forehead. “Is that terrible?”
I snicker. “Yeah.”
I tuck myself under his chin and let the sound of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.