Love Novel 63

I pull on a warm sweater, running my fingers through the fabric of the sleeves.
I glance in the mirror, noting my flushed cheeks. I haven’t been alone with Aiden since the wedding and I’m beginning to wonder if this is a good idea.
I run my fingers through my hair, making sure to not destroy the curls as much. As I do, I still. Zaid is pulling at me,
drawing me in like a magnet with a strength much fiercer than that I realized was possible.
If I keep heading in this direction, I know I’m going to fall for him.
Part of me wants to, but I think I’m selfish. I think I don’t want to let go of Aiden. I’ve lost so much that finding them
makes me feel like I can keep going, like I can get better.
Like I can live.
My stomach twists as I head downstairs. The house is quiet because Aiden hasn’t come home since that botched up
lunch and as soon as step outside; I see Zaid leaning against his car.
Butterflies fly inside me.
The crisp air bites my cheek with a breeze, but it’s not exactly cold.
Zaid looks beautiful, his black jacket unzipped and hands shoved into his pockets. His eyes lift to mine and just like that,
it’s like the world around us disappears.
He smiles.
It’s soft and part of me thinks it’s pity from how lunch went. Still, I take it in. When he doesn’t look angry, he looks like
almost ethereal.
I bite my lip and look away to stop myself from ogling. His dark messy hair has me wondering what he looks like in the morning, which just makes me think about how he is in bed.
I groan internally.
“You ready?” he asks.
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. He opens the passenger door and his gaze remains fixed on me. The terrible
thing is that I can feel it. It burns me; it brings me to life. It excites me.
I slide in and when he sits in the driver’s seat; I feel the tension. Like a string ready to snap.
The car is silent except for the soft hum of the engine. I can feel his eyes on me every few seconds as he drives. I’m
involuntarily trembling, his smell reminding me of that kiss, of his touches.
I can still imagine his voice, the deep moan in his throat as he asked me to kiss him. And, fuck, he kisses like a god.
But then, I think of his finger inside me. Of the wetness he inspired between my legs. My skin breaks out into
goosebumps and my cheeks flush. I can feel their heat.
He clears his throat. “What are you thinking about?”
I can hear the amusement in his voice and I’m immediately embarrassed. “Oh, nothing.”
I turn to him, hoping to shoot him a disarming smile. But his eyes drop to my breasts, where my chest is heaving.
“That doesn’t look like nothing,” he mutters.
I swallow the thick saliva in my mouth and I cross my legs, anything to ease the ache between them. His hand drops from
the wheel and he squeezes my thigh. “Alina.”
Fuck, his touch burns. I look down at his hand. His long, thick fingers digging into my thigh. The veins in his hand are like
tattoos across his skin, and I wonder how he would feel wrapped around my throat.
His hand tightens and then skims up further on my thigh. I’m squirming. “Zaid.”
“Tell me what you were thinking about.”
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I exhale. “You.”
His nostrils flare. “Yes.”
“Kissing me.”
His grip on the steering wheel tightens, and I want him to pull the car over. I want him to unbuckle my belt and place me
on his lap, and devour me from the inside out.
But he just calmly takes his hand off of my thigh and returns it to the wheel.
“You’re still Aiden’s girlfriend.”
The heat dissipates as ice cold washes over me. “Yes.”
He swallows.
“Do you really think you’ll never be friends with Aiden again?” The change in topic is drastic, but I need it to douse the
flames that flicker inside me. I need the reminder that I technically belong to someone else.
His hands tighten on the wheel, and his jaw clenches. For a moment, I think he won’t answer.
“Why do you care so much?” he finally says.
The words sting, and I press my lips together, trying to keep my emotions in check.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all,” I whisper, my voice trembling.
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I can see the way his shoulders drop, like he feels my pain.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever really talked to about Alex.”
His grip on the steering wheel loosens, and he exhales, a knowing, pain-filled frown spreading across his face.
“Alina…” 
I cut him off. “If Alex were alive, I’d do anything to make sure we were okay. Anything, Zaid.”
He sighs, a sound that feels heavy with regret. “I’m sorry, but I can say the same thing about you and your mom.”
I glance at him, his profile sharp in the dim light of the car. “That’s different.”
“How?” He lifts an eyebrow, sparing me a glance.
“She’s a bitch.”
He snorts, a smirk curling his lips. “Aiden’s an asshole.”
I laugh at that. We let the silence take over again and when I look at him a few minutes later, my heart goes out to him.
He looks tired, conflicted. I wish I could reach over and smooth the crease between his brows.
When we finally pull into the lot where rows of trees stand waiting, Zaid cuts the engine and looks at me.
“I’ll try,” he says.
I meet his gaze, my chest tightening at the sincerity in his eyes. I can’t help but smile. “Thank you.”