Love Novel 15

I find Nikki at lunch the next day, not having seen Aiden nor Zaid all day yet.
Not that I care. Well, about Aiden a little, but only if he apologizes to me about Sadie.
Zaid, on the other hand? Zaid can go fuck himself.
“I didn’t see you in class yesterday, did you go home?” Nikki takes a bite of her pizza, frowning at me.
I nod, pressing my lips together. “Kinda.”
She narrows her eyes. “Something’s different about you.”
I blush, I know I look different because I can feel it. I clench my teeth together and tell her everything. Every little thing,
every little detail.
Well, except for the fact that I am extremely sore and I’ve felt Jake’s phantom cock inside me all night last night and all
day today.
I also do not tell her about the fact that I thought about him all night last night and had to rub myself through a wildly
unsatisfactory orgasm.
I tell her about Zaid, except for the conversation about my brother.
I tell her about Will and Sadie.
She leans, her jaw dropping open a bit more as I talk. Her eyes immediately go to the side of my face where I tried to
cover my bruise with fuck-ton of make up. I finish, looking at her to see if I’ve lost my mind.
“Wait, wait, wait,” She shakes her head, pressing her fingers to her temples. “We have to like talk about this in chunks
because this is too much.”
I chuckle, relieved that she’s not judging me just yet.
“First of all, girl! You slept with a random man that picked you up on the side of the road?”
I grimace and nod.
“What the hell were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t, really.”
“Clearly! Do you know what could have happened to you? He could have taken you.” She flails her arms, her face turning
a slight pink.
“But he didn’t.” It’s weird to explain how a stranger can make you feel safe, wanted and free all at the same time.
“He could’ve killed you!”
“But he didn’t.” I sigh, chuckling at her.
“Oh my god, Alina.”
“I know, okay? But I was desperate.” I don’t regret anything, but I can see how it looks like I lost my mind.
“Okay, I’m still a virgin, and yeah it can be embarrassing but you don’t see me flagging down cars to do it.”
My jaw drops at that, but I refuse to let her make me feel bad for something I enjoyed. “That’s not even what happened,
and that’s not the desperate that I’m talking about.”
“Then, what?”
“Ever since my brother and father died…I feel like I’m drowning. And not because I’m overwhelmed, it’s because I don’t
feel anything half the time.” My nostrils flare and I can feel the beginnings of my lips trembling. Fuck, I can’t talk about
them without losing it.
Her shoulders drop and she nods, telling me she’s listening.
“I just wanted, for once, to feel something again. To laugh. To feel alive. Most of the time, I’m walking around like a
zombie and I just… I just wanted to feel something.”
“I guess I can understand that.”
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“He was nice.” I shrug.
“You promise?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
Silence follows and she sets her pizza on her plate, rubbing her hands together to get rid of any crumbs.
She turns to me slowly, pressing her lips together before she smack them. “So, was it good?”
I bark a laugh. “Yeah, it was good, really good. I didn’t know it could feel like that. I mean I remember my friends talking
about losing their virginity and they all talked about how painful it was and uncomfortable. Which, yeah, it hurt. But then
he made it feel really good.”
“That’s because he’s experienced.” She shakes her shoulders and wags her fingers like she’s giving me a lesson.
“Exactly.”
“So you don’t regret it?”
“Not one bit.” I really don’t The only regret I have is that we agreed to not see each other again. I don’t tell her that,
though, afraid she will go off on another one of her lectures.
She sighs. “Okay, good. Sorry for freaking out a little. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“It’s fine, I get it, as long as you don’t think differently about me.”
“No, I don’t.” She smiles sweetly at me.
“Good.”
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We sit in comfortable silence again, the both of us eating.
Nikki gasps out of nowhere, clapping her hands on her mouth. “Wait. We also need to talk about the fact that Zaid is in
love with you!”
I choke on my water and cough it all out on the grass. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
She bumps me in the shoulder with her fist. “Come on. He saves you from Will?”
“He would have done that for anyone.”
She laughs. “Um, no he wouldn’t.I’m 100% sure he would have let me get beat up into a pulp. But that’s not even it, I
mean he got jealous when you told him that you have a crush on Aiden!”
“No.” My heart hammers in my chest and my cheeks turn hot.
“Alina, you can’t be that oblivious.”
“I’m not, it’s just that he’s Zaid. That doesn’t make any sense. He… I think he hates me.”
“There’s a fine line between love and hate, Alina.”
“Oh, shut up with that.”
We laugh together and then the bell rings.
Nikki shoves her hand toward me. “Hey give me your phone so I can give you my number.”
I hand it over to her and she texts herself.
“I have to leave early today because I have a doctor’s appointment, so I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? We’ll coordinate so I
can pick you up for the party.”
“Alright, sounds good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then