Love Novel 12

I can’t breathe, my eyes are shut and my entire body is trembling.
“Hey.”
I hardly register his voice. I shake my head, trying to calm my breath when he places a warm hand on my thigh. He traces
circles into my skin.
“Hey.”
I turn to face him, my eyes wide.
“It’s just a flat tire,” he whispers, his dark eyes etched with concern.
I let go of the door handle that I had been holding and flex my fingers. When I look out the windshield, I notice that we
are on the shoulder, safe.
“Are you okay?”
I shake my head and the dam breaks. His eyes widen and he gets out of the car, rounding the front to come to my door. He opens it and kneels beside me.
“Hey.”
I calm my crying and whisper to myself that I’m okay and that everything is okay. I feel him reach around me, feel him
unbuckle my seatbelt. He grabs my waist with one hand a thigh with the other and turns me to face him, his hand
cupping my cheek.
“Are you okay?”
I nod. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I was in an accident,” I say, I don’t know why, but I do, my voice trembling. “With my father and brother. They didn’t make it out alive.”
His face drops like he knows the terror I’m talking about, like he knows the pain I’m living through. It makes me feel so
seen, so understood. So…safe.
“Cars alone make me nervous, I just — I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize to me.”
He tightens his hold on my waist. “I have to change the tire okay, and then we’ll be on our way.”
I swallow and nod, watching as he reluctantly lets me go with a squeeze on my thigh. He opens the trunk, pulling out a
spare tire and the necessary tools. The rain is no longer falling, except for the random raindrop here and there.
The muscles in his arm flex as he works, his neck straining as he grunts when he has to exert more force. I inhale, shaking
my head.
I should be disgusted for checking out someone who looks twice my age.
But I’m not, because he looks good.
Not to mention that he certainly looks experienced in many areas in life. I bet being loved by someone like him would
feel a hell of a lot better than by some hormone raging dude.
I don’t know what’s going on with me, if it’s my brush with death that suddenly made me realize that I am going to die a
virgin or the face that Aiden has a girlfriend and I probably could not have pulled someone like him anyway.
It all as me feeling numb. It all makes me want to feel something.
Jake looks over at me, smirking. I look away, my cheeks burning. He caught me practically devouring him with my eyes,
but all he does is chuckle deep and low in his throat.
“So you want to finish your story?” He grunts, taking off the torn tire.
“There’s not much to tell, really, ” I frown as I look to the ground, the dam has been broken and I’m much more open
than I’d be on a normal day.
Zaid messed me up with asking about my brother.
Jake here saw me literally panic and sob until snot fell from my nose.
I would never see him again, I figure if there is someone for me to unload my mess on, what better option than a
stranger?
“I think I’m just broken,” I whisper.
Jake pauses and looks over to me, “What makes you say that?”
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“I killed my dad and my brother.” The words sting me. The literally choke the air out of me, but they feel like the truth.
I’m a bad omen, might as well have death tattooed across my forehead.
“Don’t say that,” He stands, rubbing his hands together to clean them.
I shrug, “My mother thinks differently.”
“Don’t tell me she blames you?”
“Oh, she does.”
“What a cunt.”
I snort, having never heard someone use that word in real life. “You said it, not me.”
He smiles, deep lines in his cheeks let me know he’s lived a full life, a happy one. Fuck. I want that. I want that so bad.
What will it take for me to feel alive one more time?
“I thought moving here would mean that I would finally get to live my life, you know?”
He cocks his head, listening.
“I mean how embarrassing is it that I’ve never been kissed before?”
His eyes widen and his eyes travel down my body once before he lifts them back up to my eyes. The air heats, rising as if
he commands it with the intensity from his gaze. I swallow and keep going, ignoring the little voice in my head that tells
me I should shut up.
“Not to mention that I haven’t run into anyone else who’s a virgin, and it’s incredibly humiliating to not have anything to
add to the conversation when all the girls get together to talk.” It comes out of me like hot garbage and I can’t stop it.
He coughs, red painting his cheeks.
“You know they all sit around and talk about their boyfriend’s dick size?” It just keeps coming out of my mouth.
He coughs even louder.
“And I just sit in the corner in silence, because newsflash, I’ve never even touched one before!” I’m out of the car and
pacing by this point and Jake shuts his eyes tight, cussing under his breath.
He turns away from me, leaning onto the frame of his car as he bites into his knuckles. “You’re testing me, girl.”
Panic surges through me and I press my palms to my eyes. “Oh fuck, I just word vomited. You can just leave me here. Honestly. I wouldn’t blame you if you just drove away.”
He laughs this time, his shoulders shaking. “Wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Really?”
“Really. Honestly, I can’t believe you’ve never been,” He stops, his eyes looking down my body again. “Fuck. I can’t say
this shit to you.”
My stomach clenches and I step toward him. He doesn’t step away, his eyes locked on mine. “Say it anyway.”
His nostrils flare. “Let’s just say, if I was your age, I’d be begging to fuck —” He inhales, steadying himself. “To fuck you.”
I gasp, heat igniting in my stomach. It builds up like a coil, tension between us tight and dense. He’s a stranger, someone
I would never have to see again. Not at school, not ever.
When people ask, I can just say it’s someone from Florida. I want to know what it feels like, I want to know why everyone
talks about it like it’s the best thing in the world.
“You don’t have to beg,” I whisper.
His eyes widen and he takes a step back. “No.”
“Jake,” I whisper, reaching for him.
He doesn’t give me a chance, though. He grabs me first, his hand burying itself in my hair. His fingers grip the back of my
head and he tilts my head back.
I whimper, both from the pain and the extreme surge of adrenaline that pushes through me.
“Fuck,” He grunts, pressing me into the car as he spreads my legs with his thigh.
I grab onto his shoulders, my eyes lowering to his mouth. He snarls, moving quick. The moment his lips meet mine, that
slow ache that has been building in my stomach explodes into nothing but need